Most people know a Carl.
The one who plans everything — the dinners, the weekends away, the casual Tuesday drinks, the group chats that somehow never die. He is the engine, the organiser, the glue.
Simply put: Carl is terrified of being left behind.
When I first sketched Carl, I kept circling around one question:
What does it feel like to be needed, but never entirely sure if you are wanted?
Carl lives in that delicate space.
He’s the one who books the restaurant because he’s too scared to wait for someone else to suggest it. He’s the one who organises the trip because the thought of the group going without him is unbearable. He fills the calendar so he doesn’t have to sit in the silence of wondering whether he’s included.
It’s not desperation. It’s survival.
A strategy.
A soft, slightly trembling way of staying part of something bigger.
And isn’t that human? I know I carry a version of that fear, even if it’s tucked away under thicker armour.
When I paint, I’m not chasing perfection. I add layered brush strokes upon brush stroke searching for the emotional micro-tension that lives in the eyes, the tightness around the jawline, the way a person holds themselves when they’re trying a little too hard to appear effortless.
Carl has that energy.
There’s a slight ache behind his brightness. A soft panic, an eagerness he desperately tries to hide. His stern look and the bold colours in the portrait is his armour. He shields himself off behind them, quietly terrified of not being chosen.
Carl opened a small, tender doorway into my own emotional story and for that I thank him.
Carl — original painted June 2023 — is part of my ongoing exploration of human truth, vulnerability, and the imperfect ways we stay connected.
SHOP CARL